China's newest import, the KidGrater
Led paint, choking hazzards, unsecured magnets that may cause intestinal blockages step aside, KidGrater is sure to get the job done.
With China's adherence to child safety seen as... optional, the KidGrater is sure to find niche that's yet to be discovered by such palid child-offing tools as lead paint and poorly attached magnets. This is perfect to increase the average IQ in US playgrounds.
While Beijing has no official comment on the Kidgrater, numerous officials have told media sources off the record that it's an attempt to address the sissy like attitudes of American parents.
"Well give the round-eyes something real to complain about", said on official. "We've tested this extensively and eight times down the KidGrater was the where most kids lost interest. But we're building one for every playground in America."
Increasing evidence that China is becoming a world power.